Skip to main content

Let’s stop talking about sex, honey

Bittu (Tamil slang for porn) movies in Tamil Nadu may have finally found a worthy competitior: TV programmes doling out sex advice.

Prior to the advent of internet, titillation in TN would have meant ‘record’ dance bars – where women in skimpy dresses gyrate to item numbers in front of raucous crowds– or theatres screening dubbed movies of the soft-porn virtuoso Shakeela. Today, it might mean turning on the tube late at night to watch a sexologist hearing out woebegone callers and advising them on everything related to sex – from intercourse to periods and masturbation.

What could have been a healthy trend gets reduced to a caricature, and even worse, a misinformation campaign. And that – for a state that has made remarkable progress in curbing the incidence of AIDS (remember, it was once bracketed with the likes of South Africa) and showed the rest of India how welfare schemes for transgenders could be implemented – is a blot of gargantuan proportions.

The “professional” opinion becomes shorthand for sleaze, if it's made to appeal to the baser instincts. More the merrier if it includes half-truths, sensational and misogynistic elements. This is what a majority of the Tamil TV channels (news and general entertainment) have been doing of late. Why, even their traditional broadcast timings (post-11 pm) is snidely referred to as the “midnight-masala” slot.

At one plane the shows resemble mere plugs for libido enhancers. This can be gauged from the discussions that centers on two primary issues: “performance enhancement” and sperm count improvement. It’s as if every caller faces either of the problems, and the experts, if they can be called that, ask them to consume the product. Template question elicits template answer.

You’d think they would stop at that, but no. Such “experts” also double up as marriage counselors, delivering horrifyingly judgmental opinions. Whenever marital issues are broached, the word “adjust” gets bandied about.

And this is when the show hosts reveal the sexism ingrained in them. In such cases, the answer is “it is the woman who has to adjust”. On this count, Captain TV, run by the DMDK (led by Vijayakanth) ranks as worst. Their show has a sexologist, who, with the air of a Supreme Court judge, listens to queries read out innocently by a woman, before delivering bursts of baloney.

A couple has not been intimate for a while; the woman suspects her partner of fidelity; the woman has not climaxed for a while. The solution: adjustment. “The man always has the need to graze wherever he wants to, it is the woman who must ensure he has no such need,” the expert once suggested. “Consummate, and all problems will be resolved.”

You can choose to either laugh or get shocked out of your wits.

If the queries are from a woman, that is if ever, then the questions assume a voyeuristic nature. It starts with the seemingly-innocuous  query, "Are you married?" followed by the fusillade.

"How frequently do you do it?" "Do you masturbate frequently?" "Does he use contraceptives?" "When do you experience pain? Immediately after sex?"  In some cases, a probe into the family history begins. "Has your mother experienced similar discomfort/ problems?" A prescription is given after this judgmental exercise.

The shows on these channels, without exception, follow the trend to the-T. Have they been conceptualized to give the sexologist, and some sex-starved viewers, a kick? Your guess is as good as mine.

If the advice served qualifies as rank horrendous, opacity describes the nature of the products being advertised. Nobody knows whether they were manufactured with due approval and tested by a pharmaceutical authority. And all claim to boost performance beyond one's imagination — whatever that is supposed to mean.

Even tragic is the fact that no authority – be it medical- or broadcast-regulatory – seems to have woken up to the phenomenon. They have every reason to act fast: the spread of wrong information is worse than the lack of it. 

People may squirm discussing sex in public, but listening to sexologists’ advice on midnight TV is no solution. In comparison, that quack whom you see on the road-side peddling aphrodisiacs might pass off for the dean of AIIMS. 

Dear Tamil TV channels, please give me the analogy of the birds and the bees any day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why the editorial is the unsung hero of any newspaper

A tad autobiographical, this account encapsulates my experiences at a news organisation. Why wait until 50 or 60 to compose one? Hell, who knows, this could even be its blueprint! So, here goes my first stab at chronicling myself... I was prepared for all kinds of weird questions for my first job interview as a journalist four years ago, for the post of a sub-editor, but I never anticipated this one that caught me off guard. Noting that I preferred to work in the editorial than the reporting section, a HR representative at the organization asked in almost an air of dismissal, implying that the editorial is something redundant, “After all, we have Microsoft Word, in built with grammar and spell check capabilities, so why must I hire you?” I stared at him blankly for a moment as a smile grew on his face, perhaps out of exult at having stumped me. I trotted a familiar refrain, which I am sure he would have encountered countless times, “Because I am passionate about writing a...

Is what you are watching actually a cartoon?

Disclaimer: What you are about to read may seem weird, but what the hell, I am hypothesising it to be true, so who knows... Cartoons are basica lly meant for kids. The main reason e lders prefer letting the kids watch them without their sup ervision is that they need not fret over the incidence of X-rated content in it – namely content that concerns that famous three-letter word or violence. I suggest that we re-examine this mindset of ours (as someone who has grown up watching the very cartoons that I am about to damn, I have mixed feelings as I type this. Consider the following list: Tom and Jerry , Bugs Bunny and El mer Fudd/Yosemite Sam , Tweety and Sylvester and Coyote a nd Road R unner . These are cartoons which we would definitel y not squirm about before letting a toddler/child watch it. These cartoons are hilarious, have palatable themes; have caricatures that look cute (I am yet to come across a girl who hates Tweety). Tom and Jerry, for instance, was once even vot...

Tamil Nadu’s Thala-Thalapathy conundrum

Overrated, yet celebrated:  Tamil actors Vijay and Ajith, who command massive fan-followings “Oh, you watch Tamil cinema? So, you must be a fan of  Thala /  Thalapathy ?” Trepidation must be the watchword when one encounters these statements. For, this refers to a syndrome that has divided film freaks of Tamil Nadu into fans of Kollywood’s leading (well, at least expensive) actors —  Thala  or Ajith Kumar and  Thalapathy  or Vijay. Chances are, the manner in which you will be treated from then on depends on your reply. Behold the Thala-Thalapathy syndrome. Such is its omnipresence that no Tamilian worth his salt can ever claim to have escaped it ( Thala  and  Thalapathy  roughly translate to “leader” and “commander”, in Tamil). Industry buzz has it that Vijay’s moniker lends credence to the theory that he is the “successor” to Rajinikanth’s mantle in the industry ( Thalapathy  was one of Rajini’s biggest ...